If you are a YES PERSON or someone who can’t seem to resist and refuse especially in financial aspect, this article is somewhat an unorthodox way of saying it is fine to say NO.
So, why it is important to say ‘No’ sometimes?
I remember someone asked me, how can you help someone who is drowning when you don’t even know how to swim?
If you don’t know how to say ‘No’, probably, you will force yourself to help even if you know already you’ll both going to be drowned. Just like in finances, you will both get into trouble. Instead of forcing yourself to help him, I think it would be better to refer him to someone who is capable of helping him.
For instance, someone borrowed money from you. Apparently, your money is just enough to defray and cover your expenses for the entire week. However, you were too shy to say no so you cut out a portion of your tightly budgeted money and lend it to him. What do you think would happen? You will definitely get into trouble and may likely end up borrowing money from your friends too. You may have helped that someone but you came out needy too because you forced yourself to help instead of referring him to someone who is capable of helping him better than you.
I once had an experience wherein one of my friends turned to me for monetary help. He said that his family needs the money urgently thus he can’t wait until the next payday and has to direly borrow from me. At that time I knew I have little cash left in my savings and I might also need it for the next few days. But instead of saying I don’t have enough money for him to lend, I asked him instead how much he needed. Eventually, I was forced to lend him my money and he promised to pay me after he will get his paycheck.
I don’t know if my decision was an act of too much benevolence or I was just too timid and had not plucked any courage to say NO. I even felt bad and apologized for not being able to lend him the total amount he actually needed. Isn’t it amusing? Anyway, few months passed and no payment was made. Then comes the day that I was the one who direly needed the money. So I approached my friend if he could pay me back because I ran out of budget due to unexpected expenditures. He told me that he will settle it soon as he gets his salary. That was exactly what he told me when he first asked me to lend him the money. Several paydays passed and numerous payouts has been, still I did not receive the payment he promised. Every time I would ask him, I keep getting the same response accompanied by a promise that has long been broken. But then again, I waited. Months turned to year and still my money was not returned. I was really dismayed when I found out that he was upset and thought I was impatient. I was like, seriously? More than a year of waiting still made me come out impatient. Anyhow, my friend started to become aloof and our friendship was hurt and strained.
I can still remember it only took 10 minutes for him to ask the money from me but unfortunately until now he hasn’t paid at all. So Sad! I was hopeless! With my ridiculous thoughts, I sometimes feel like maybe he thought, okay let the time pass, he will forget it and move on. I even consoled myself to consider it a Christmas gift for him.
If we look back and examine my experience, things would have been different only if I said NO. It was among those situations where you really just have to say NO. I know it happened not just to me but to everyone else. It is always nice to say YES but if saying NO would help you get away with future troubles then we must have to learn to say NO. It is absolutely fine to extend financial help when you have a good amount of money reserved or saved for leisure or future emergencies or let’s say an EMERGENCY FUND. When we say emergency fund, it is usually equivalent to the amount of your expenses for six months. So if ever you’ll be in a same situation wherein you’ll be going to lend money, make sure that you will not be needing it for the next three months or six months to avoid financial troubles.
It was not by someone’s fault if you allow them to borrow money from you and then suddenly you ask them to pay for it immediately because you need it but they cannot because they don’t have enough money. Basically, it is your fault. However, borrowers must know their responsibilities as well. Unfortunately, some of them or let’s say most of them don’t!
Learn to say ‘No’ now or you will agonize with the consequences in the future.
P.S. We’re still friends on Facebook with the one I mentioned in my experience above. But we’re not close like before. Trust issues. Lol!